I work at a public library.

Goodness, Thank

It was particularly quiet in the library this morning when all of a sudden, we heard the cutest, squeakiest 5-year-old voice calling from the stacks:

5-year-old: “Hello, mother? I can’t see your feet! Are you in the not fiction section?”

Mother [from an aisle over]: “Sweetie, I’m over here!”

5-year-old: “Thank goodness because I found a fairy book you’ll just love.”

Filed under 808.879083 Children's Humor 153.733 Listening In libraries not fiction humor

Referrals, Patron

An elderly gentleman called the reference desk this afternoon. 

Man: “Are you a librarian?”

Me: “Yes, I am. How can I help you?”

Man: “Well, I need some help researching an old painting in my house. Before I tell you about it, would you like to know who referred me to you?”

Me: “Sure.”

Man: “Well, I had a vision from the Holy Ghost. He told me that this old family painting was very valuable and that I needed to get some help with it. He said that a librarian could help me!”

Me: “That’s great! You’ve called the right place. Tell me about this painting of yours.”

Filed under 031.02 Curiosities and Wonders libraries tumblarians holy ghost 621.385 Telephones

Songs, Musical

A regular patron was having trouble with her computer’s headphones.

Me: “Do me a favor and go to YouTube.com. Just click on the first video you see, it doesn’t matter what it is.”

She navigated to YouTube and hesitated before clicking on an Eminem music video.

Me: “Go ahead and click it—it doesn’t matter what it is, I just want to see if the volume will work.”

As the music video played, I adjusted the volume controls on the computer as well as on the headphones themselves.

Me: “Hrm…it does seem a bit quiet even when it’s turned up all the way, but I think it might be loud enough to hear what’s going on.”

Woman: “Can we try a Whitney Houston song?”

Me: “Um…sure!” 

She searched and selected a Whitney Houston music video.

Me [handing her the headphones]: “Yep, same problem. But see if you think it’s loud enough.”

Woman [holding it up to her ears]: “Oh yeah, that’s not loud enough. Should we try Aretha?”

Filed under 004.16 Computers libraries eminem whitney houston tumblarians

Years, The Culinary

Teen: “Hi, I’m looking for information about the culinary period of history.”

Me [wracking brain]: “Hmm…can you give me some more information about what you’re looking for?”

Teen: “You know, like American history, the culinary years.”

Me: “I don’t think I am familiar with that, can you tell me more about it?”

Teen: “Like the pilgrims and stuff.”

Me: “Oh! The colonial period! Sure! Right this way!”

Filed under 025.52 Reference Work 302.2 Miscommunication submission 793.735 Children-Humor libraries

Im-possum-ble, Nothing’s

Though I worked at a large city library, I am a rural girl at heart, so it was pure fate when a man beckoned me over to where he had set a book on the counter.

Man: “Ma’am, well, I have a weird question.”

Me: “I’m intrigued.”

Man: “Can you tell me, I mean, am I reading this right? Does this recipe call for possum?”

Me [leaning over to look at the cookbook]: “Yes. It sure does.”

Man: “Well, um, do you know where I could get one?”

And that’s how I wound up giving a man the telephone numbers of local trappers so that he could make possum pie.  

Filed under 028.9 Reading Interests and Habits 031.02 Curiosities and Wonders submission libraries tumblarians