An elderly gentleman called the reference desk this afternoon.
Man: “Are you a librarian?”
Me: “Yes, I am. How can I help you?”
Man: “Well, I need some help researching an old painting in my house. Before I tell you about it, would you like to know who referred me to you?”
Man: “Well, I had a vision from the Holy Ghost. He told me that this old family painting was very valuable and that I needed to get some help with it. He said that a librarian could help me!”
Me: “That’s great! You’ve called the right place. Tell me about this painting of yours.”
A regular patron was having trouble with her computer’s headphones.
Me: “Do me a favor and go to YouTube.com. Just click on the first video you see, it doesn’t matter what it is.”
She navigated to YouTube and hesitated before clicking on an Eminem music video.
Me: “Go ahead and click it—it doesn’t matter what it is, I just want to see if the volume will work.”
As the music video played, I adjusted the volume controls on the computer as well as on the headphones themselves.
Me: “Hrm…it does seem a bit quiet even when it’s turned up all the way, but I think it might be loud enough to hear what’s going on.”
Woman: “Can we try a Whitney Houston song?”
She searched and selected a Whitney Houston music video.
Me [handing her the headphones]: “Yep, same problem. But see if you think it’s loud enough.”
Woman [holding it up to her ears]: “Oh yeah, that’s not loud enough. Should we try Aretha?”
Man: “Can you please tell me what movies you have checked in that start with the letter A?”
Me: “May I ask if you are looking for a particular title?”
Man: “Yes, American Graffiti.”
Me: “Is it okay with you if I just look up that particular movie?”
Man: “Sure, that’s a good idea!”
A patron who frequents our computer classes called the library:
Man: “Yes, did you find a thumb thing? A flasher drive? That thing you stick into the little slot.”
Teen: “Hi, I’m looking for information about the culinary period of history.”
Me [wracking brain]: “Hmm…can you give me some more information about what you’re looking for?”
Teen: “You know, like American history, the culinary years.”
Me: “I don’t think I am familiar with that, can you tell me more about it?”
Teen: “Like the pilgrims and stuff.”
Me: “Oh! The colonial period! Sure! Right this way!”
Found in the children’s section.
"To Mom. I <3 You. Do you know haow to do orgamy?"
A woman I’d never seen before stopped me in the library.
Woman: “Are you Jennifer?”
Me: “Yes, that’s me.”
Woman: “David thinks you’re really beautiful.”
Me: “Who’s David?”
Woman: “I’m not sure.”
And then she walked away.
While unlocking their bikes at the bike rack, I overheard the following conversation between two boys:
Boy #1: “Man, Layla is texting me again.”
Boy #2: “Forget about her. Don’t get all worked up, girls come and go.”
Found in Library: Blair Witch Barbie. Please claim at your earliest convenience.
Though I worked at a large city library, I am a rural girl at heart, so it was pure fate when a man beckoned me over to where he had set a book on the counter.
Man: “Ma’am, well, I have a weird question.”
Me: “I’m intrigued.”
Man: “Can you tell me, I mean, am I reading this right? Does this recipe call for possum?”
Me [leaning over to look at the cookbook]: “Yes. It sure does.”
Man: “Well, um, do you know where I could get one?”
And that’s how I wound up giving a man the telephone numbers of local trappers so that he could make possum pie.
One of our regular patrons walked into the library today and greeted me as usual. She always seems to have a new topic of interest on which she focuses much of her energy (last month it was George Frideric Handel’s large white wig). I admire her wide range of interests.
Woman: “Today, I’m obsessed with goblets. You know, goblets with stems. Made of glass. They clink when you hit them together. Goblets!”
I nod, yes, I know exactly what she’s talking about. I wish her luck in her search and commence shelving.
She stops me again later.
Woman: “I’m checking out a Harry Potter book because it’s about goblets!”
I smile and continue shelving. About twenty minutes later, she waves me over to the public computer she is using. She points proudly at the email she has just finished composing, and I see how she’s signed it: “Love, Goblet.”
Patron: “I didn’t realize you were so short until you stood up!”
[Note: I’m 5’3”]
Woman: “I don’t know WHAT the library is spending money on because it’s NOT adjustable keyboard trays.”
Me [with kindness]: “Our keyboard trays are adjustable. Would you like me to show you?”
Woman: “But. They are? Oh, um…”
Me: “Right this way.”
Woman: “Also, your mice are too big for my hand.”
Me: “I think the newer ones are smaller. Would you like me to get you one?”
Woman: “Oh, um…sure. Thanks.”
Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
Woman: “Make it stop raining.”