I work at a public library.

Is, And the Winner

I’m excited to announce the winner of the Cast of Characters contest which ran during the month of July to celebrate the book release. Thank you to all who entered, it was a really tough decision.
And the winner is…
[drumroll!]
peopleareaproblem
Congratulations! Your intricately drawn comic made me tear up a bit. Your prize of $250 and a copy of the book are on the way.

To see all of the entries, including the winning entry, please see Cast of Characters contest!

Thanks for playing along, y’all.

Filed under cast of characters contest winner libraries public libraries

Book, Body

I was working the desk when a woman started shrieking from the public computer area. Before I could react, her daughter appeared before me to frantically ask for help. I went straight over.

Woman using computer: “Oh, Jesus, oh no, oh Jesus! Help me! But don’t look!”

She had her phone plugged into the computer to upload a profile picture to Facebook. Somehow she had uploaded a picture of a dude’s “happy” crotch shot as her profile picture and she needed help to delete it. It was covering the computer screen. 

I remained calm and collected: “Ok, I have to click on the, ahem, picture to get to the delete button, it’ll only take a second.”

Woman: “Oh, my goodness. Ahh! No!”

And the offending picture was deleted. 

Of course every single computer was in use while this was happening.

Filed under 611 Human Anatomy facebook oops libraries tumblarians submission

Acceptance, Total

I’m a woman and I work at a public library. I’m slowly working on feeling better about myself with changes to my physical appearance (short hair, working out, etc.) and so far so good. I’m starting to become more androgynous and I’m really happy with that! The other day at the library, a kid approached me with a concerned look.

Kid: “Are you a boy or a girl?”

Me: “I’m a girl…mostly.”

Kid [without missing a beat]: “Oh, okay. Can you help me find a book?” 

Filed under submission 809.9339 Volumes of Gratitude libraries androgynous androgeny

Star Wars? Fake!

A young boy approached the front desk. He comes into the library regularly and is ahead of his age in maturity. He wanted to know where he could find Star Wars books. We have quite a few fiction but also non-fiction Star Wars books. The non-fiction can be about the history and making of Star Wars.

Me: “Are you interested in fiction or non-fiction?”

Boy [long pause, with serious expression]: ”You do realize that Star Wars is fake right?”

Filed under 808.879083 Children's Humor submission tumblarians libraries star wars

Another fabulous entry for the I Work at a Public Library Cast of Characters contest, this one adapted from the story Ear, A Bug in Her:A boisterous family had been in the children’s area for several minutes when suddenly I heard the mom yell, “THERE’S A BUG! THERE’S A BUG IN HER EAR!” Several staff rushed over.
The woman’s three-year-old daughter had a tick in her ear. My quick-thinking co-worker got a pair of disposable tweezers out of the first aid station. The tick extraction was performed right in the middle of the picture books.
[Please give seavillains a little love for this one! And don’t hesitate to enter your own clever take on an I Work at a Public Library story—I’ll be accepting and posting submissions throughout the month of July to celebrate the release of I Work at a Public Library: A Collection of Crazy Stories from the Stacks.]

Another fabulous entry for the I Work at a Public Library Cast of Characters contest, this one adapted from the story Ear, A Bug in Her:

A boisterous family had been in the children’s area for several minutes when suddenly I heard the mom yell, “THERE’S A BUG! THERE’S A BUG IN HER EAR!” Several staff rushed over.

The woman’s three-year-old daughter had a tick in her ear. My quick-thinking co-worker got a pair of disposable tweezers out of the first aid station. The tick extraction was performed right in the middle of the picture books.

[Please give seavillains a little love for this one! And don’t hesitate to enter your own clever take on an I Work at a Public Library story—I’ll be accepting and posting submissions throughout the month of July to celebrate the release of I Work at a Public Library: A Collection of Crazy Stories from the Stacks.]

Filed under cast of characters contest i work at a public library libraries tumblarians library heroes

Willie, Poor

A 4-year-old girl was standing at my desk tracing letters on a piece of scrap paper while telling me about her pets.

Girl [matter of factly]: “At dinner the cat jumped on Daddy’s lap and stepped on his crotch.”

Me: “That was probably uncomfortable.”

Girl [as she continues tracing letters]: “The cat stepped right on Willie.”

Me: “Cats will do that.” 

Filed under 611 Human Anatomy 808.879083 Children's Humor submission cats libraries

Another dramatic reading by the lovely leonardwashopeful! This one is the sardine incident called Going On, Something Fishy.

[It’s not too late to enter the Cast of Characters contest—you could win $250!]

Filed under cast of characters contest tumblarians contest libraries art contest i work at a public library