Posts tagged 153.6 Miscommunication

Patron: “When do you think I’ll be able to check out the new book by Jackie O.?”

Librarian: “—”

Mom [whispering]: “Yes, do you have the book Twenty-five Shades of Grey?”

Elderly patron, timidly: “Where are the computers?”

Me: “There are some in the Adult Department and in the coffee/vending machine area.”

Patron: “Thank you. If I get lost, someone will come find me right?”

A patron walked up to the desk carrying about 10 Blu-rays.

Patron: “Excuse me! None of these would play!”

Me [knowing Blu-rays are often confused with DVDs]: “These won’t work in a regular DVD player.”

Patron: “Yes, I know that.”

Me: “Do you have a Blu-ray player?”

Patron: “Yes.”

At this point, I become concerned and start looking them over them for obvious defects.

Me: “I just don’t understand why they won’t play. Especially if you have a Blu-ray player…”

Patron: “Oh I don’t have one of those.”

Me: “—”

A young man with special needs approached the desk.

“Do you have Rocky Balboa?”

“Do you mean the Rocky movies?”

“No, it’s a DVD called Rocky Balboa, dumbo.”

One of the more excruciating things in libraries are the librarian meetings. They are long and full of too many women and mistakes.

At my last meeting, we broke into small groups to share ideas on how to make our library more innovative. An administrator was to type up our notes on the projected laptop as we shared with the larger group. Since she was struggling to keep up, one innovative group had the idea to type and email their notes to her so she could easily copy and paste it into the working document.

Instead, she proceeded to highlight, copy and paste her entire email inbox. TWICE. It was “Google, copyright 2012, terms and privacy” hilarious. 

I was trying to convince someone of all the wonderful perks the library has to offer when we hit the age-old snare.

Me: “We not only have books, but DVDs and video games as well!”

Patron: “Video games?”

Me: “Oh, yes! We offer games for different consoles. We have the latest ones.”

Patron: “You mean my tax dollars are going to people playing video games?”

Me: *gives up*

Patron [via phone]: “You can renew your driver’s license at the library right?”

We have a patron who calls at least once per day to ask the most random questions. I have heard crazy stories about her and was dreading answering her call, since I was new. But it had to happen. When I finally got her, I answered all of her questions quickly and correctly. 

Patron: “Thank you so much. You are quite helpful.”

Me: “Well, thank you.”

Patron: “But you really don’t have a phone voice, so I wouldn’t answer the phones anymore if I were you.”

A gentleman in his late 40’s with a European accent approached me at the children’s desk.

Man [holding up a Borat DVD]: “Is this a good movie? Would it be alright for my 10-year-old son?”

Librarian: “It’s good, but it does have a lot of nudity in it.”

Man: “Oh, we are European. We love nudity! Thank you.”

Just before Christmas last year came this phone call from a patron.

Patron: “Yes, hi, I was wondering if you could help me.”

Librarian: “Sure.”

Patron: “I was thinking of getting my wife a library card for Christmas.”

Librarian: “Um, sir, library cards are FREE!”

Patron: “Great!!”

A mother approached the desk to sign her daughter up for a library card. After I handed her the application, she put it in front of her 10-year-old to fill out.

Girl: “Mom, for name can I put MooMoo?” *giggling*

Mom: “Sure, sweetie.”

Patron: “I have never been to this library, how can I check out these books?”

Librarian: “Do you have a library card?”

Patron: “I have one from Ohio.”

Librarian: “Um, that won’t work in Alabama. Sorry.”

Patron: “Oh, you mean it’s not a national system?”

Older Lady: “I want a book of poems from the most famous British poet of the 19th Century.”

Librarian: “Well, the 1800’s were rife with famous poets, it will be hard to choose the most famous.”

Older Lady: “Well, which ones hung out with Wallis Simpson?”

Patron yells on phone: “No, I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to my fur person.”