Posts tagged 302.24 Bullies
Cockroaches, Killing
A guy just asked me why cockroaches don’t die in the microwave. Needing to know where to start my search, I asked how he knew they didn’t. He said, “I have cockroaches and when they are in my microwave they don’t die.”
On Yahoo! answers, someone explained cockroaches have a low water content so they do eventually die, but it takes much longer than expected.
Oneself, Being
Librarian: “Ma’am, I’m making your library card and your name is spelled one way on the form and one way on your driver’s license. Which is your legal name, please?”
Woman: “It’s the WAY I WROTE IT. They won’t ask for Obama’s birth certificate, but you’re giving me trouble for the way I’ve spelled my name for 72 years?!”
Librarian: “—”
Woman: “I hate California.”
Motives, Questionable
A strange looking man who smelled of pickles just asked me a twofold question: 1) whether two local attorneys and one judge were still practicing law, and 2) if I would print their photographs and addresses from the Internet. As I looked up the info, a queer feeling crept over me. I noticed that the two attorneys specialized in domestic violence cases and that the photo of the judge made the man in front of me snarl. I gave the man the printouts, hoping that this wouldn’t end up to be one of those rare cases you hear about in Libraryland where our strong belief in patron privacy ends in disaster. I was just glad to be done with the exchange when to my great dismay the man said,
“One more thing. Should we get dinner sometime?”
“Pardon?” I said.
“Well, you’ve been so nice. Maybe I could take you to dinner?”
“—”
Antagonists, Meeting Room
Cuckoo Carol: “The schedule on the wall says a group called FTPCU is using the meeting room tonight. What does FTPCU stand for?”
Me: “Hmm. I’m not sure. If they just use an acronym when they reserve the room, we don’t know what group they are.”
Cuckoo Carol: “Well, is there anyone here that’s smarter than you?”
Cubby, Returning to the
I overheard this at the reference desk, between a coworker and a regular patron, Cuckoo Carol.
Librarian: “Carol! Why did you just come behind the desk?”
Cuckoo Carol: “I was just returning the newspaper to the cubby hole.”
Librarian: “But you normally throw it down on the counter! What’s different about today?”
Cuckoo Carol: “Jeez-Louise, I was TRYING to help. That’s not anything you’d understand.”
Librarian: “Just leave it on the counter next time!”
Cuckoo Carol: “Try to be more helpful next time!” [sticks out her tongue]
Change, Needing it
Me: “That’ll be eighty cents for the eight copies, please.”
Man: “Here’s one dollar.” [I give him two dimes change.]
Man: “And here’s a nickel.”
Me: [looking at the nickel]
Man: “Let’s see how long it takes you to figure it out.”
Me: “So you want a quarter?”
Man [with a smirk]: “Bravo!”
[one minute later]
Man: “Hey, there’s a paper jam!”
Me: “You know what I could say right now, right? But I’m too polite.”
Man: “Touché.”
