Posts tagged 323.44 Eavesdropping

Snippet of conversation I overheard as I passed a couple using the Internet computers in our Adult Department: “Well, she has a lot of cats, so she just builds outhouses…”

One homeless man to another: “You look very nice. Your clothes are nice. You care about personal hygiene, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.  You look very nice too.”

“Thank you.”

(And as the outsider who knows them both – it is true, they both do always look very nice.)

Patron to librarian: “Pardon me, but could you check this in for me? I’d like a receipt. Also, could you get someone else to help me? I’ve never seen you here before. Thanks.”

Patron: “I need a lot of information. I need to know how to sue somebody. Can you tell me how to do that? And he’s an atheist. Is that going to matter?”

While opening our branch one morning, I noticed the fire extinguisher cabinet had been pried part way open. I couldn’t pull the door open and I couldn’t close it properly, so I went to the key box to locate the key.  After 3 tries of back and forth from key box to extinguisher, our librarian says, “Still no keys?! What if we have a fire?” 

A voice, coming from behind a public computer: “That’s why you BREAK the glass!”

A regular patron wanted to place a hold on a new PS3 game. Overhearing the conversation, the next patron in line tapped him on the shoulder.

Patron 1: “You wanted to get Skyrim?”

Patron 2: “Yeah, but their copy is checked out, so I am putting it on hold.”

Patron 1: “I got a brand new copy. Disc only. $5.”

Me: >_<

Patron 2: “Thank you, but no.”

Patron to another patron (both of whom were visiting the library for the first time in a while): “They still use the Dewey Decimal System. You would think that they would have gone digital by now!”

Listening to the library ladies in the breakroom…

“…my son’s friend’s friend’s wife was friends with the father of those poor kids who were killed by their mother—”

“I saw that story…what a travesty. An absolute travesty!”

“—I just don’t know why the woman thought she had to kill the children before killing herself—”

“Travesty.”

“—and the friend of the friend went to the funeral, and wouldn’t you know it, they had open caskets, which was a surprise since the children were shot in the head—”

“My god, Grace! I don’t want to hear the details!”

“—all lined up, one-two-three, and as I understand it, the makeup just looked so artificial, but what can you do with something like that? You’d need a real expert—”

“I don’t really want to know any more, let’s just say it was a travesty.”

“—I guess it looked pretty orange, you know, how makeup gets if it’s the wrong shade, or if there’s a big wound, I guess.” [sigh] “Are you having lasagna?”

Woman: “Can you please direct me to the little reader’s area?”

Librarian: “Do you mean the children’s room?”

Woman: “Yes, that’s it. I suppose that could’ve meant anything! Short stories, small reading area, midget section! HAHAHA!”

Man: “How do I get on to use one of those…um, you know…those…internet booths over there?”

Librarian: “You mean a computer?”

4-year-old girl to librarian during story time: “You are very nice and you always change your clothes.”

Beau of a librarian, on the subject of library budget cuts: “The Internet provides access to a lot of masturbation material, but can’t deliver a really satisfying climax. Libraries and Librarians are better than the Internet.”

“Oooops. Just found out we locked someone in the library the other night. Glad it wasn’t my night to close!”

“That was like my secret dream when I was a kid. It’s probably not as fun as I thought it would be.”

“Especially for this poor sap—she was locked in the lobby. Nothing there but tax forms!”

4-year-old girl, as mom put items in book return: “Good job, Mommy! You’re doing a very good job! One at a time, please, one at a time.”

Patron to librarian: “How do I find page 152 in this book?”