Posts tagged submission

Elderly patron, timidly: “Where are the computers?”

Me: “There are some in the Adult Department and in the coffee/vending machine area.”

Patron: “Thank you. If I get lost, someone will come find me right?”

A patron walked up to the desk carrying about 10 Blu-rays.

Patron: “Excuse me! None of these would play!”

Me [knowing Blu-rays are often confused with DVDs]: “These won’t work in a regular DVD player.”

Patron: “Yes, I know that.”

Me: “Do you have a Blu-ray player?”

Patron: “Yes.”

At this point, I become concerned and start looking them over them for obvious defects.

Me: “I just don’t understand why they won’t play. Especially if you have a Blu-ray player…”

Patron: “Oh I don’t have one of those.”

Me: “—”

Snippet of conversation I overheard as I passed a couple using the Internet computers in our Adult Department: “Well, she has a lot of cats, so she just builds outhouses…”

One of our regulars came up to the desk to get his printouts. Making small talk, I asked him how his job search was going. He said, “Oh, I’m not really looking. I just fill out the forms so I can get the benefits.”

An elderly woman called the library asking if I’d seen the movie Black Swan. I replied I hadn’t. She told me she had heard it was a dirty movie and wanted to know why someone would make a dirty movie about ballet dancing. I replied I didn’t know but I could find out who directed it and she could ask them. She then asked me for the number for Purchase College (located near Harrison, NY where parts of the movie were filmed). I asked if there was a specific department she would like. She said just the general phone number. While looking up the phone number she asked why someone would make a dirty movie in Rye-Harrison. I replied “I do not know.” I gave her a phone number and we said goodbye. She called 3 times that afternoon saying the same thing. It was the day before a hurricane was coming through the area and this was what she was concerned about. I decided to check out the movie (n_n).

I was trying to convince someone of all the wonderful perks the library has to offer when we hit the age-old snare.

Me: “We not only have books, but DVDs and video games as well!”

Patron: “Video games?”

Me: “Oh, yes! We offer games for different consoles. We have the latest ones.”

Patron: “You mean my tax dollars are going to people playing video games?”

Me: *gives up*

I’d been helping a mother and her older teen son. Both were pretty dumb. Near the end of the interaction, the mother says, “And I want a book on dragons!”

I say, “I think most of those will be in the children’s room, but let me check.”

As I’m searching the catalog, she adds, “I want a biography of a dragon. No, an autobiography!”

Inmate: “I need a form for a change of menu.”

Librarian: “—”

Inmate: “—”

Librarian: “Do you mean ‘change of venue?’”

Inmate: “Yeah, one of those.”

Patron: “Do y’all have the Facebook?”

Me: “Um, you want to use Facebook?”

Patron: “Yeah, all my friends say I should get the Facebook. So, do y’all have it?”

A well-known patron called the library:

“Can you please help me? I am getting contradictory information—can you please tell me what today’s date is?”

While opening our branch one morning, I noticed the fire extinguisher cabinet had been pried part way open. I couldn’t pull the door open and I couldn’t close it properly, so I went to the key box to locate the key.  After 3 tries of back and forth from key box to extinguisher, our librarian says, “Still no keys?! What if we have a fire?” 

A voice, coming from behind a public computer: “That’s why you BREAK the glass!”

After helping a patron get a replacement library card, I noticed that she left the card on the counter. I remembered her telling me that she was in a hurry because she was on her way to work so I called the work number she had on file.

Me: “Excuse, is Ms. Smith there?”

Lady on the phone: “No, she hasn’t arrived yet. She will be here soon though.”

Me: “Can I leave a message?”

Lady: “No.”

Me: “Um…no?”

Lady: “No, I really don’t like taking messages.”

A patron came to me with her Nook and asked if I could assist her.

Patron: “The password was changed.”

Librarian: “On your library card?  I can reset that here.”

Patron: “No, my Nook’s password.”

Librarian: “I am not sure of how to reset that…”

Patron: “Well, I was getting an e-book from your website on my computer and my dog was on it.”

Librarian: “On your computer or your Nook?”

Patron [completely indignant]: “My dog was on my computer, why would my dog be on my Nook?!”

Librarian: “—”

Patron: “Well, my dog reset my password and now I can’t check items out online.”

Librarian: “Can I reset it now for you?”

Patron: “No! I should just go home and start over.”

Librarian: “Yeah, that might be best.”

- - -

After the patron left, my boss, who’d overheard the exchange, said, “That dog is incredibly smart because you have to verify the new password.”

Today I received a request for assistance from a female inmate. It seems she wants some help getting a divorce from her husband, but she doesn’t know where he is. She thinks he may be in prison, but she doesn’t know where and she can’t remember his name.

A regular patron wanted to place a hold on a new PS3 game. Overhearing the conversation, the next patron in line tapped him on the shoulder.

Patron 1: “You wanted to get Skyrim?”

Patron 2: “Yeah, but their copy is checked out, so I am putting it on hold.”

Patron 1: “I got a brand new copy. Disc only. $5.”

Me: >_<

Patron 2: “Thank you, but no.”